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I saw a guy who looks like him today. This was the third time I saw this guy within one month and our meetings never fail to fill me with a feeling of panic, despair, heartbreak, misery, longing and sorrow. Fuck him and his long limbs, beard, semi/bald head, square jaw and colorfully stylish clothes.
I wish I could ask him to start sporting a different style because it is already taken by this horrible human being who lives in a city two hours from this one.
I am still, sadly but surely, very much in love.
I saw a guy who looks like him today. This was the third time I saw this guy within one month and our meetings never fail to fill me with a feeling of panic, despair, heartbreak, misery, longing and sorrow. Fuck him and his long limbs, beard, semi/bald head, square jaw and colorfully stylish clothes.
I wish I could ask him to start sporting a different style because it is already taken by this horrible human being who lives in a city two hours from this one.
I am still, sadly but surely, very much in love.
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How do I let go? Let go of person I can't live without?
I guess I don't. He stays with me as long as I can't live without him. The time does the rest (I hope).
God, I hope he suffers in his life and I hope I stop wishing him harm. He harmed me more than anyone I know and I am still too weak to forgive. But how I long to forgive and let go..
I need that release and he needs to stop being THIS important to me. I don't think he is even aware of what he did to me because I never told him. After he dumped me, I deleted him from my virtual and physical life. He still stayed in my mind though and settled there nicely.
He moved on quickly, logged onto dating websites, traveled and such.. And I remained alone in the dust and ashes. Forgotten and humiliated by the only person I was willing to die for.
It's not easy to move on after something like that and live as if nothing happened. It's not easy, but it's doable. And I am living my life, and laughing and crying occasionally. Breathing and eating. Existing.
He is less eminent in my life than he was 4 months ago. My sorrow lets me breathe now and I can be alone without constantly thinking of him and mourning my happier days. More happy days will come for me and I will trust the world and be open to love again. And I will be free of these shackles of isolation and grief. They will come off with time. I feel that this is the only possible option, I just don't know for how long will I have to wait.
p.s. I saw a guy I dumped three years ago and felt nothing. Maybe this is my karma? I hope it is because it would make me believe that there is justice in this universe.
How do I let go? Let go of person I can't live without?
I guess I don't. He stays with me as long as I can't live without him. The time does the rest (I hope).
God, I hope he suffers in his life and I hope I stop wishing him harm. He harmed me more than anyone I know and I am still too weak to forgive. But how I long to forgive and let go..
I need that release and he needs to stop being THIS important to me. I don't think he is even aware of what he did to me because I never told him. After he dumped me, I deleted him from my virtual and physical life. He still stayed in my mind though and settled there nicely.
He moved on quickly, logged onto dating websites, traveled and such.. And I remained alone in the dust and ashes. Forgotten and humiliated by the only person I was willing to die for.
It's not easy to move on after something like that and live as if nothing happened. It's not easy, but it's doable. And I am living my life, and laughing and crying occasionally. Breathing and eating. Existing.
He is less eminent in my life than he was 4 months ago. My sorrow lets me breathe now and I can be alone without constantly thinking of him and mourning my happier days. More happy days will come for me and I will trust the world and be open to love again. And I will be free of these shackles of isolation and grief. They will come off with time. I feel that this is the only possible option, I just don't know for how long will I have to wait.
p.s. I saw a guy I dumped three years ago and felt nothing. Maybe this is my karma? I hope it is because it would make me believe that there is justice in this universe.
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He hates this song and has deleted it off his iPhone (despite me saying how much I love it). Now he's gone, I don't know why and to this day I sometimes cry. He didn't even say goodbye or take time to lie..
He hates this song and has deleted it off his iPhone (despite me saying how much I love it). Now he's gone, I don't know why and to this day I sometimes cry. He didn't even say goodbye or take time to lie..
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I woke up and he was not the first thing on my mind. This has happened at least six times in the past two weeks. :D
I woke up and he was not the first thing on my mind. This has happened at least six times in the past two weeks. :D